My first year of Marriage, a slow and painful death!

This time a year ago I was getting ready to say “I do” to a gal I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. One of the biggest surprises has been how quick time has flown.

After some reflection, I have come to realise that this marriage journey isn’t all fun and games. I mean I knew it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park, after all, when you put two humans together under the same roof who have promised to push each other (this was part of our vows), well your asking for trouble.

So about this slow and painful death I mentioned, its true! I think if you plan to be intentional with any marriage or relationship there is bound to be some kind of death.

When it comes to working through conflict together, there is that part of me that wants to win, make a point and be right, but there has been a slow and painful death.

When it comes to managing money, there is that part of me that wants to spend like there is one of us. but there has been a slow and painful death.

And when it comes to decision making, time management and sacrificing my time, well there is that part of me that thinks he is still single. but there has been aย  slow and painful death.

All this talk of death may sound a bit depressing to some, I get it, and I would rather there be no pain at all when it comes to relationships, but if the hard stuff was absent and the process of building together was easy, would we learn the same valuable lessons?

For those of you reading who have been married for a number of years, I stand and salute you! I can only imagine the things you have had to put to death to make sure you continue the journey with your other half.

I wouldn’t have it any other way, and look forward to seeing the life that comes from choices that seem hard now.

What is the biggest thing you have learnt from your marriage?

5 thoughts on “My first year of Marriage, a slow and painful death!

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  1. Yes, brother. The death is painful and slow. I also call it the beautiful struggle. It has its ebbs and flows and it’s the most challenging but rewarding journey I have ever been on. Cheers to a year and hoping that you have decades of love to come!

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  2. Yes, Dying to self(ishness) is part of the journey. I think marriage has been less painful and more joyful only because I have had years to learn these lessons in other circumstances.And that was painful at times even without a spouse to deal with. We need to have faith in the process also. Once the dying is done with, one can appreciate the new life that springs from the dying seed. Eventually one gets to enjoy the fruit coming from the tree!

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  3. Congratulations guys!!! Happy Anniversary ๐Ÿ˜Š yes marriage is the best,yet hardest thing( next to parenting).. Oh boy, wait till that comes.. ๐Ÿ˜ . It is the place where most of our growing takes place and we are shown for who we truly are, (ouch! ) Yet the most satisfying, and rewarding place to be. So happy for you.

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  4. After 29 years I have to say the pain is worth it – I hope my wife would say the same – there is still the odd time that I do things as if I was the only one, it is rare but it does happen but the one thing I can always count on is my wife’s love and forgiveness again I hope she would say the same about me

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  5. This is very well expressed. The culture teaches us what “true love” can be expected to deliver. We will be totally fulfilled, understood at every moment, comforted without the necessity of expressing our needs, ever encouraged, unfailingly uplifted, on and on. There is little mention of who will take out the garbage, let alone the larger things a lifelong, complex, loving relationship entered into before God requires of us.

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